Have you ever been so deeply embedded in a situation or relationship that you thought there was no way out?
Are you worried that if you followed your heart’s deepest desire “Everybody” would think terrible things about you?
George is a middle aged, blue collar man who has been married for 35 years. He is the one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. He is an adored father and grandfather, always puts his loved ones first, and has a heart of gold.
One of my favorite things about George is his ability to have a great conversation. He’s just one of those guys you really enjoy talking with. Great sense of humor and a genuine soul.
Sadly however, George had been unhappy in his marriage for the last six years. He felt stuck. He and his wife barely talked. Their communication just wasn’t working; in fact, there virtually was no communication at all.
On top of all that, things were getting harder and harder financially. George implored his wife to get a full time job to help ease the burden but year after year, she refused.
He really wanted to leave his marriage, but he just felt like he couldn’t. And why? Because:
What would “Everybody” think?
Who the hell is “Everybody?” Let’s talk about them, because many people feel influenced by “Everybody” when really, “Everybody” is usually composed of 3 to 6 key people in your life.
Here are the facts:
1. Very few people actually feel the way you are afraid they are feeling.
2. The “Everybody” in your life is not very likely to be the best source of information for what is best for your ideal life. Why does someone else get to decide how you live your life?
3. There may be a whole bunch of people who would actually praise and accept you for doing exactly what feels best to your authentic, true self.
4. Your “Everybody” is probably made up partly of loved ones and partly of hated ones. Yup, it’s true: you hand over control of your life to the very people that you dislike the most.
After much contemplation and a little encouragement from his Life Coach, George built up the courage and decided to leave his wife. He moved in with his friend Joe who has a small 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment. Joe does the cooking and George does the cleaning. They’ve been roommates for 6 months now. And guess what? George has never been better.
He feels free, relieved and for the first time in years, HAPPY.
As a result of his new-found happiness, George has lost 20 pounds and his doctor said that he had the numbers of a 20 year old.
In fact, in my most recent conversation with him, he asked me excitedly: “Would it be too soon to go on a date?”
Despite his worries about what “Everybody” would think, George followed his heart and he hasn’t regretted it for one second.
If your “Everybody” is holding you back from living you best life, it may be time to find a new “Everybody”.